Guitly

Good morning my dear, I want to say I'm sorry, I should not over sleep.Although I'm just beside you and let you sleep until over time. I admit that my false, yesterday night should not ask you continue the second movie after "New Year Eve". It become late when we back and sleep, it almost 4 in the morning and thank for teach me so many actor in hollywood, I appiciated and try to remember it all...
I'm guitly that I see the clock already 11 o'clock in the morning. I'm so sorry...
begging you to forgive me....

病了。。。

过完了一个美好的假期，现在却生病了。。。
真想把整个鼻子切了，鼻水一直在流。。。
整天无精打采地，想着想着。。。你。。。

Alor Setar

Happy holiday, recently I follow Jas to her hometown which is Alor Setar. There is a nice place to relax and get fresh air. The citizen no longer cheating. materialistic and their so real. Their life is so simple and healthy doesn't like here. I love the place and I love your family member. I wish I may stay there for forever and ever. Thank God for giving me a chance to Alor Setar.

到家了。。

平时，到家了都会通知你一声，但是今晚我都把它搞砸了，都怪我不好。我不是有心要弄醒你的。我知到是我弄糟你的心情。我只是心急想跟你解释清楚，请原谅我。

我只希望我们可以开开心心的一起过每一天。晚安。今晚特别想你。。。

谢谢你

一个美满的晚上，却被我一股冲动毁了。我毁了你对我的信任，我们之间的协议。我坦诚我没有尊重你。事后我觉得知己很无耻，抬不起头面对你。对不起，直到再一次见到你，你反而却安慰我。我在这一分这一秒真的非常感动你对我的每一句话。或许我们的开始不是那么甜美，但是我却希望我们的未来是一段很美满的生活。养育着五个小孩，十只狗，还有一间温馨的屋子。这一辈子我认定了你。。。我爱你。爱娜

等待。。。

最近做什么都不顺，工作？功课？建身？爱情？妈妈的病情恶化？全都不是我想要的。这时突然想起你，你是我生命的枝柱。拿起电话只想听听你的声音或许约你吃顿饭，但你没接。我知道你在忙工作，一个人要扛起那么多的工作。我真佩服。我也知道这段日子会慢慢得过，或许我只需要你的一个拥抱还是慢慢的等待吧。。。

我懂。

昨晚当我在走着回家时。我明白你给乐我很多机会，我却一直都没改变。还是老样子，时常弄你生气。也说过了很多个对不起。我昨晚不应该对你大声大哄。。。我错了。还记得今天早上六点特地看看你的facebook status，却看到了。该过去的就让它过去。难到我们的爱就这样的过去了？我恨我自己，每一次都把热闹的气氛给搞砸了。每一次，答应你的陈诺却每有答成。却一直要你给我机会。
到了早上我终于鼓起勇气，回想起，我当时是怎样的折磨你。我深深的对不起你，我在把它们写成一封信。再把它交给你之后，短短的几秒中，我在厕所掉了几颗眼泪。我错了。我真的知道我错了。我不勉强你给我机会，我只希望你原谅我。

heart broken

Is raining day and I'm sick right now. But it is week 7 and next week will be my assignment week, I' m quite tired and tension that I can't rest. Yesterday I heard Jas that she will like to eat ice cream roti, so that I went to botani garden and get those ice cream roti for her. After I reach her house,I saw she lay on bed and feel tired. My heart just melt as that ice cream...

Selfish & Mistake

Few day ago, I join Jas and Des to Lone Pine hotel to stayed few days for relaxed our stress. It happened  something that shown myself very childish and selfish. I keep art poor like Jas keep bully me. I'm so sorry that I spoil your reputation infront your friends. I promise myself do not repeat this action and I should respect Jas. I'm sorry and I do not respect you in this few days. I know that you start to hate me that I keep did shit on you. After that case, I really think much for everything I did recently. I shout on you and I did my sui face infront you and act poor in front your friend. Inside my heart you're not really like that poor. You're kind for me, everytime I saw your timetable I feel guilty because you spend much time to earn money for us and I just doing nothing only assignment. You're mature enough and you never ask me for pay for everything. We both are student and also have our assignment to do and we human only have 24 hour perday, you're my superwoman. Salute...

I know whatever I said or promise also can't stick together your glasses heart. I broke it...
Thank for teached me everything, you never try to leave me alone. If we never date before maybe I have to spend more than 10 years to improve myself and only will survive in my lonely life. This is only the way that I love you....
 Hug...

Finally I'm back to my blog, had been long time ago I do not update my blog. My class started and recently busy on my homework. I did my first backpack journey with Jas. There was a nice place and I learn and experient different lifestyle from other country that I never been..
And I celebrate my 20th birthday at last month, thank Jas and my dear friends for celebrate and make me surprised.

Sigh

Confuse...

Sorry that I been long time ago do not update my blog. Recently I can't even know what I want or what I want to make it. I just think back why I break my hand that time? And why I used to be waste half year for doing part-time job and did nothing, perhaps...
Everytime I heard your's mum called me as a small boy, I feel guilty and I sadness. I have to spend 1 more years for my study. Our plan had been delay cause of my temper.
Sometime I told what I want need and maybe I told you I feel imbalance under my broken heart. That was a truth. And I know that I' m not a person can present my way naturally, I need someone to open my heart.
I was always waiting for you, always....
And I need time to stick back my heart. Is funny that you has a small boy' friend and easily heart broken.
I admit recently just like not always stick on you or maybe escape from you, because I worry that can't even control my temper and I will argue with you.
And please don't worry that I will falling love on someone or I do not love you anymore. I just scare I will easily broke this relationship with my hot temper. For me, I can tell you 100% I still love you.
I' m sorry that recently I keep asking you to accompany me to natural. Because I trust natural may help me release my mood. And I know, maybe it was an escape, but I know this the way to relax my way.
I' m not using the way to act pity to get your heart. I just feel sad.

Forgive me...

Is time to play

Yesterday I meet my EX classmate Daveen, he asked me to enjoy the day that I left. It was because coming day
we will meet more harder and more assignment to do. And I'm excited to fight for those assignment. And now is time to play and work. After May15, I have to ready and collect my study mood and prepare for fight! have a blast Ivan.... hahaha...
Bee, you tooooo.... please graduate as fast as possible, and make money for me!

Lu jou wa chio

It a song name I translate from You make me smile by Uncle Kracker. I enjoyed few days that I join you to your's house and visit your mum and babee... I'm sorry for last night that I promise you that stuff and I do not finish it properly at all. It make you angry... I miss ya all the time and promise that will give you more freedom and do not always stick with you... I know that everyone need privacy and I trust your reputation... Sorry indeed that I had been lock you so long time...

Hug, btw before i asleep or when you wake up everyday, I hope that may heard your voice...
add oil on your thesis and Goodnight...
You make mine life colorful...

Story time...

Been 11 days I never heard or hug your heart beat and your tummy d. I miss the way and every part that we did or past even a place or hobby... Everytime I pass though starbuck,or I see allstar shoes, smoker, anythings it will make me missing you badly or just what you say or speak last time. And when the 1st step on your room, my tears was drop, because that I do not listen any your voice or a girl was watching her movie infront the laptop d. I was miss everythings that we had been, and perhaps it just a small places for us, but we do cry or happiness together at there. Every inch is full of memories and it can't easily to control when I step in this room... I miss you...

8th day....

Today I went to check my ATM only I realise that my ptptn had been bankin me 3900, when I saw the amount i get shock. If you' re here, of course I do give you 300 for you to buy your portrait lens. Hope you come back soon and may hug you tight in real world... Good night my dear...

What a day

Just back from work, take a bath, sleep direct d... But now my body is very hot and i cant sleep. Perhaps i get panadol then it may help me to sleep back... hope you be here right now... hug... isshh... tomorrow have to do fullday again.... Sweetdream...
Love ya....

6th day

You was not surrounding me been 6 days. I try not to think that much, but i can't. I miss you voice... Before I chat with you, I feel nervous and afraid that you not to be online... But when you're online. Just like nothing to talk with you... haizz... human was a weird animal.... Goodnight..

Dream

I dream that just now you leave me, although I know that is dream. But the dream just like come to the truth. You don't want to forgive me that I miss the way to chat with you, and you don't like the status that I post for you...sadness...

All night long

I keep heard the song that you intro to me and I keep repeat it and try to understand the meaning of the song. Although I' m so tired but all night long... I still can't asleep, Perhaps you're not here for long time and I miss you...

5th day

Argh.... I hate myself... I hate myself that I keep my phone in locker I can't chatting with you... So darn down, I' m so so so sorry that I ask you to call me when you online but I'm away... Ish.... Sorry bee... Hope you will not angry on me... By the way my mum asking when you came back from Penang? She cook TU TUO TENG tomorrow... Kok Chong will go to interview electrical staff as his new job at supertanker... God bless you and him ya.... Hug...

4th day

This is 4th day, and still have 11 days you will not be here... I wonder why the time pass slow. Just now a pair come in our shop and compliment to my ring, my brain just came out image of when we get the ring together and you remove it when we quarrel... But I hope one day your's ring will become a diamond ring when we married...
Perhaps it just my dream... haha....
Hug.... miss bee so much....

3rd day

Hey, babee... is me again... My leg was so pain I wonder why, perhaps I stand so long for working... Just now my mum had been put medicine for me. No worry and now I just waiting you online for sharing your trip with me... I really miss you bee... But I know that you're in my heart and I love you....

2nd day...

This is a 2nd day you're not surround me and I feel like colorblind without you, I miss so much and my car had been spoil, will send it to repair tomorrow. Perhaps it recover soon... And I really miss you, but you're always in my heart... I' m asleep soon. Tired.... and wish you have a safe journey and enjoy.. muack

First day in Laos

You're missing in Penang and you're in Laos... miss you so much baby, I' m afraid that I can't asleep and now I having pill and going sleep d, Good night and wish you have a blast.... take care and safe journey... big muack! bye....

You goin Laos and I can't even tell or sharing my mood right now. I'm dizzy... From I knew the news that you going to Laos, I still may effort. But only left few hour my heart will getting nervous and afraid , I wonder why? I been lose myself and just like fall into heaven... I think I saw somethings and it make my heart more depressed, it maybe just small matter, but I try to used microscope. Perhaps I have no confident at all....
Mamma asked me issit believe in Faith... Perhaps...

Medicine only may paralyze myself and I drive myself crazy...

Perhaps

Perhaps I have to ate medicine to calm down during you went to holidays... I'm just like a death man without you, no more laugh, no more talkative and I miss my direction and become the old me...

Just wish during this 2 weeks may pass soon...

2 more days...

2 more days and you will go to Laos, it was your holiday and I do regret and I miss the holiday with you... Perhaps you got new friend at there and you will forget me and everythings happened at here. But it really helpful and gain experience for your whole life.  I do afraid and worry your personal safety.

Actually I hope I may spend more hour before you went to Laos, I don't want work during this few days. I just want be with you and I will start my job after you went to Laos...
and thank for you gift, will return you the gift in further time...
 I really miss you, just like to hide you in my pocket.
Knee on the floor and pray for the God, Bless mine Jasmine...
And please bring belong my biggest survenior to me...
I miss you...

Tension

So darn tension on my recently job, I will never step on this roadshow and I do promise myself, it make me dizzy and tension. And luckily my parents and my love they all beside me and do love me, if not I' m for sure going loca...
Perhaps I quit this job only I get my freedom...

Happy belated birthday to babee....

Happy birthday to you babee...I' m happy and enjoyed to celebrate birthday with you. Although we just knew each person not longer time, but you're too friendly and cute... Anyway, wish you have a blast!
Love you and the Big Babee forever and ever....
Big hug...

What wrong to me...

I feel sad and hopeless. Every morning I try to make myself happy, I try to be with you and do exercise to relax my tension and bad mood...
Recently happened much much things surrounded me, accident, last time you try break up with me and my mum, I know that maybe is not a big deal for a person. But for me, both of you was very important for me... And I know my temper is bad... But sometime I try to control it and don't let it splash it out...
And I know i keep mumble on you everytime you need relax and privacy, because surrounded you also happened so much things, include your study, renter, PCY... It make you getting Hot...
If you really need a space, I will do respect you, but atleast you talk softly or do request...
I feel sad and afraid if you are rude to me, I duno what to do or even I will speak alot of nonsense or bullshit without thinking and meaningful infront you...
I know that maybe I should try to face on the problem or the trouble. It is a part of our memory and exp. For other people maybe is just a piece of cake but for me is just like the sky is falling down, I' m learning to face the things and do think positive...
Sorry I did mistake, I just kidding with you and I have nothing special or angry on you...

And I love you and mum hope you recover soon...

Actually

Actually thank for the change, and i won't mess up anymore...  Quite tired today and headache, actually I wish you ask me to stay, I know that if I want to stay forsure you will allow...
But, I did lot of mistake and I afraid that you not happy if I stay at your home...
I miss you like crazy....
please bless me God...
I trust in karma...

thank you

Thank for accept my apolozige, giving me a change. I promise I will like to do a betterman and solve the problem as a man.. And do not feel emo anymore... Is not pretty anymore... muak...

First day

We been working at together but we did't talk even you round me, i feel upset and i do correct my way... i can't stop missing you...

Panic

I feel afraid when you're not surrounding me when the world become darkness and have no people can help me. I admit that I should not find you, but I still do care what happen surrounding you...

Tears...

Your tears melt my heart...

Valentine day

I' m sorry that I did't bring you surprised on valentine day. It make me so down and upset.
I knew that you going to quit this job and continue to your study. And I knew that you will put down the boom that you been carrying almost 1 year.
This few days, I knew you will quite busy cause you have to pass all your thing and works to new staff.
Thank for accompany me to movie since you' re busy as going local.
And thank for the dinner...
It make me comfort after having this meal...

Jasmine, you should on diet...
haha....
muack....

Hardworking

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The first night of presentation

See the clock?

It's already mid9...we're still in the class...





Ronzi is sleeping since 10 something.


The ever last presenter of the night- Felicia.

I am so frustrating for have to re-do my proposal for tmr night... I don't have much time to figure out a new framework plus so blurring on doing it...

How am i supposed to get the 30 pages done includes the powerpoint presentaion within 24 hours?

Now I knew, you asked me before issit I really take time on my study...

Kiddo & Odd Lad

I told you that I feel like smoking few days back. Vaguely I recalled those words that you said to me before, asking me not to smoke anymore and you are willing to let me bite whenever I wanted to light up a cig. You were not around, and I guess I shall give myself an excuse to make thing real. After few minutes, I leaned back slightly in the chair, and I did nothing. It was crazy, I knew. You were asking when you started to become such an important person in my life. I said Sometimes, perhaps. You are like an adult keep warning me to watch out every single step of mine. You were asking me not to get late bath every single night, not to speed on bike, asking me to move my butt and get some exercise, to get some social life...and bla bla bla... I suddenly rely on you a little more, and more. Hesitantly asking you to fetch me home once a while, started to take into account of your words and promises. Like you offered to fetch me home if I have to take public transport, to jog with me, to watch ghost movie, to buy me the pancake that I once craving for, pillow talk and bla bla bla... Frustrated, I knew I am going loco. I feel like an odd lady in front of you. It is weird. There is the word that hung between us. But I feel safe to share with you. I always do. Thanks for walk into my life =)

This is what I read and my tears keep drop, 

I' m sorry, I should not left in the middle part...

apart of memories

I am sorry that i keep view and reading your previous blog... Specially  you mention bout me, no matter is good thing or bad thing. Appicated that... And I the bad person keep hurt you... when everytime, i read that you mention me before. My tears keep going down 1 by 1...

And from there, I know that your family, your friend or sister relation...
I know you're the kind and peaceful person, but everything happened beside you, it also apart of sweet memories...
From your blog, let me believe that call "friendship". I'm proud and thank sharing me knowledge as well...

Sorry that no matter i apologize how many times....
I know you still angry and dissapointed on me...

But out of my mind,
I miss the ring,
I miss you,
And i do love you....

please....

继

自从与她分手后，我偶尔却会联络她。甚至利用她帮我做功课，她却一次又一次的原谅我。。。
有时候，我真的觉得自己很过分。不久后，我却交了新欢。每当我跟新欢吵架时却时常向她诉苦。她每一次都安慰我，可是每当我伤口一复原，我却又把她放到一边。我偶尔会想念她，但却又不能对她说。。。听起来却很复杂。
直到我与新欢断了这一段情，我就再与她热恋。男人之中我也算是下贱。
每当我们吵架，我却一次又一次被她给骂醒，男生之中我更没有风度。而她却一直给我机会，没上进心，却一直让她没心做功课。她的

Wish List 2010

• Braces
• Swimming Lessons
• Sony PSP
• Graduate in Master degree
• Diving License
• Backpack to Laos and Myanmar 我却一项也帮不到她。内疚极了。。。

二十岁的那一年

新年快到了，我也即将到二十岁。虽然手受了伤，所幸交了一位好女友。几年前打工，芒芒人海中却认识到她。不久后，便开始对她产生了超友谊关系，也就是爱情。由于，当时我却还是一名乳味未干的小伙子，时常自以为事，目中无人。
不久后，我们因此分手了。。。

Sick

Hot weather make people sick, and my dear is the most Lucky, I'm that being sick to her, because she was caring me and fall sick. And she drunk a lot of herbal tea and panadols. But it still not recover, I really hope that after she ate Sing She medicine, she will get will soon.

Although she was ill, but when I'm staying in hospital, she still keep caring me and she never leave me alone.
thank for caring me and i do love you....

New Begin

Today was a First day of 2011. I just did a big mistake in 2010. I broke my bone during I were argue with Darl. I lost control and I hit the wall. I feel regret and it were painful.

Just came back from hospital this morning and just finish operate. Even I get medicine but my hand still very pain...
I'm trying to control my hot temper and face to the pain.
Maybe this time to let me learn control myself.


I feel lucky I get you and even New Year Eve you do not leave me and celebrate with your friends You never leave me and never let me go alone...

 And I wish Darl happy half year anniversary on December 28...
LOVE Always...